Without further ado, I would like to present to you my summer’s culinary feat: lobster. They have been haunting me since last year when I became determined to tackle the laundry list of things I had yet to conquer. I never quite made it to lobster murder, frankly, I sabotaged myself on the rare occasion I summed up enough courage to give it a try. I’m weak people. Killing things just isn’t my forte. Especially when things include large, squirming crustaceans with foot-long antennae that sweep and wiggle and try to attack you while death-staring you with black, beady eyes and have legs that move like spiders. And you don’t want to get me started on my fear of spiders. My fear runs so deep I feel as if those with arachnophobia have it good, because I have “mess-my-pants-in-fear-as-I-loudly-scream-but-comes-out-silient-because-my-voice-box-is-broken-as-I’m-shaking-from-paranoia-at-the-microscopic-imaginary-spider-in-the-corner-across-the-room.” I have a spidey sense, and it goes off approximately 173.4 times a day. Ask my husband. He must kill them.
Anyways, I’ve been able to brush off birthday requests for lobster with the fake legitimate excuse that they are expensive (true excuse being I do no murder). And it’s true. Lobsters are pricey which is why I had no grounds for refusal when our friend traveled up to his stomping grounds in Maine and brought home an abundance of live, mammoth (ahem, some where 8-pounds!), inexpensive lobsters right around the time my husband’s birthday cropped up. We claimed two, Fred and Pepito. And had them summoned to lobster heaven while I was not present. However, we (read: I made my husband) went to battle trying to claim the meat within their exoskeletons by ourselves. It was an epic, messy battle involving chef knives, nut crackers, fondue skewers, hammers and band-aids. We should have watched the youtube video that showed us how to easily, and neatly free the lobster meat with a simple pair of scissors, but hindsight is always 20/20.