Without further ado, I would like to present to you my summer’s culinary feat: lobster. They have been haunting me since last year when I became determined to tackle the laundry list of things I had yet to conquer. I never quite made it to lobster murder, frankly, I sabotaged myself on the rare occasion I summed up enough courage to give it a try. I’m weak people. Killing things just isn’t my forte. Especially when things include large, squirming crustaceans with foot-long antennae that sweep and wiggle and try to attack you while death-staring you with black, beady eyes and have legs that move like spiders. And you don’t want to get me started on my fear of spiders. My fear runs so deep I feel as if those with arachnophobia have it good, because I have “mess-my-pants-in-fear-as-I-loudly-scream-but-comes-out-silient-because-my-voice-box-is-broken-as-I’m-shaking-from-paranoia-at-the-microscopic-imaginary-spider-in-the-corner-across-the-room.” I have a spidey sense, and it goes off approximately 173.4 times a day. Ask my husband. He must kill them.

Anyways, I’ve been able to brush off birthday requests for lobster with the fake legitimate excuse that they are expensive (true excuse being I do no murder). And it’s true. Lobsters are pricey which is why I had no grounds for refusal when our friend traveled up to his stomping grounds in Maine and brought home an abundance of live, mammoth (ahem, some where 8-pounds!), inexpensive lobsters right around the time my husband’s birthday cropped up. We claimed two, Fred and Pepito. And had them summoned to lobster heaven while I was not present. However, we (read: I made my husband) went to battle trying to claim the meat within their exoskeletons by ourselves. It was an epic, messy battle involving chef knives, nut crackers, fondue skewers, hammers and band-aids. We should have watched the youtube video that showed us how to easily, and neatly free the lobster meat with a simple pair of scissors, but hindsight is always 20/20.

The husband requested Fred and Pepito (not to be confused with Pierre, this guy‘s best bud) be turned into lobster burgers, which I know sounds unusual, but we had them during a Valentines anniversary dinner date almost two years ago and have yet to shut up about them. Putting lobster into burger form just doesn’t seem right. Burgers are backyard barbecue fare. They go great with a side of deep fried potato fries and a healthy ratio of ketchup for dipping. Lobster seems too delicate, to fancy to be shoved down to burger level. We were proven wrong. One taste did us in.

It’s a delicate burger (or sliders, if you’re us) not to be confused with McTripleStacks from your local burger joint. These things deserve fresh brioche buns toasted with a bit of butter, and a small dollop of ginger-mayo to keep everything together. Fresh greens and a slice of tomato wrap everything up into “a passionate reworking of the New England lobster roll” as the chef says. And we’re sure you too will find it obliterating your current standard for a burger.

Lobster Burgers
Adapted from Michel Richard’s Happy in the Kitchen: The Craft of Cooking, the Art of Eating

Makes 4 large burgers or roughly 15ish sliders

Notes: There were a couple of steps I skipped but have included them below. Richard suggests concentrating the tomato flavor by sticking them in the oven for a brief drying. For sake of time, I just added fresh slices of tomato without the fuss. Though, I’ve had the fuss and the fuss “blew my mind into oblivion and food ecstasy.” I also skipped the potato wafers. I don’t have, and doubt you have, a Benriner with a medium julienne blade as well as a meat slicer laying around. Don’t worry, in our opinion the burger doesn’t even need the slight crunch from the crisp. It’s perfect as is. For the buns, I used this recipe and instead separated the dough into smaller, equal portions. For the last rise, I stuck the dough (already formed into mini buns) in the refrigerator over night and baked them off in the morning so they could be extra fresh. For the burgers, the ones above are a bit thick. I had about twelve patties, but think you could make them a little thinner and get 15 or 16 patties from the meat. Lastly, the directions below are for four large main-course burgers. If you decide to make sliders, the directions will remain the same just make sure you have 16 slices of tomato that are not too wide for your burgers.

4 1/2-inch slices of tomato
Granulated sugar
Fine sea salt (Kosher is fine here) and freshly ground black pepper
Extra virgin olive oil
Fresh thyme leaves
1 garlic clove, thinly sliced
2 2-pound lobsters, affectionately named
Fine sea salt (or Kosher, that is what I primarily use) and freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup mayonnaise*
1/2 teaspoon packed grated fresh ginger
1 tablespoon unsalted butter, plus more if necessary
1 tablespoon, plus 1 teaspoon olive oil, plus more if necessary
4 brioche hamburger buns, homemade recipe linked above
1 cup mache

Tomatoes: Preheat oven to 225-degrees Fahrenheit. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Place the tomato slices on the lined pan. Sprinkle with a very light dusting of sugar, salt and pepper, then drizzle lightly with olive oil. Top with thyme leaves and garlic slices. Place in oven for 30 minutes to 1 hour to dry slightly and concentrate the flavor. Cool the tomatoes on the pan, then cover and refrigerate for up to 1 day. bring to room temperature before using.

Lobsters: Place enough water to cover the lobsters in a large stock pot and bring to a boil (without the lobsters in the water). Fill one or two large bowls (to hold the lobsters) with ice water. Place the lobsters in the boiling water for 2 minutes. Remove the lobsters from the pot and place in the ice water until cold. Remove and drain thoroughly.

Working over a bowl, break the lobsters apart and reserve any juices. (We didn’t do this part, but we did save the shells for stock.) To remove the meat, grasp the tail, twist and pull to detach it from each lobster. Twist off the claws. Discard the bodies or reserve for stock or another use. Twist to separate the knuckles from the claws. Use kitchen shears to cut through the shell on the smooth side of the knuckles, and pull out the meat. Using scissors, cut down the center of the underside of each tail. pull the shell back and remove the meat. Cut the tail meat lengthwise in half. Remove and discard the vein that runs along the top of the tail. Cut the tail meat and knuckle meat into 1/2 to 1/4-inch pieces and place in a small bowl. (If making sliders, cut into 1/4-inch pieces.)

Pull down on the small claw pincers to loosen them and then pull them away from the claws. Crack the wide section of the claw shell with the back of a chef’s knife and pull apart to remove the meat. Cut the claw meat into 2-inch pieces and place in the bowl of a food processor. Blend on high speed to a paste. Season with salt and pepper, transfer to the chopped lobster meat, and combine with a rubber spatula.

Divide the lobster into 4 equal parts and form each into a burger just about the size of the buns. Place on a plate and refrigerate for 2 to 3 hours to firm. (Unlike beef burgers, you will probably want to pack these pretty tightly other wise they will crumble into pieces when you cook them.)

Buns: Meanwhile, split the buns in half, place on a baking sheet cut side up. Brush the cut side of the buns lightly with butter and toast under the broiler until golden brown, about 1 – 2 minutes. Remove from oven and cover with foil to keep warm.

In a large oven proof nonstick skillet, melt the butter with 1 tablespoon of the olive oil over medium heat. (If making sliders, you will have to cook the patties in batches and will probably need additional butter and oil for cooking.) Place the burgers in the hot pan and cook on the first side for 1 to 2 minutes. Gently and carefully flip and cook on the second side for another 2 minutes. If pieces fall off, try to pack them back into the burger. Flip again and cook for another minute. Transfer skillet to the oven and bake for 4 minutes, or until warm in the center. To check, insert the tip of a small paring knife into the center of a patty, and then touch the knife tip. If it is warm, the burgers are done.

Assembly: Combine grated ginger and mayo in a small bowl. Spread half of mayo mixture on the bun halves, reserving the remaining may for another use. In a small bowl, toss the mache with the remaining teaspoon of olive oil (we skipped the olive oil).

Place the lobster burger on the bottom halves of the buns. Top each with a slice of roasted tomato, and about 1/4 cup mache. Top with the remaining buns and prepare for your mind to be blown.

*Richard, of course, has a homemade mayo recipe which I have not included. There are several great ones out their if you want to make your own, but we used the stuff from a jar and thought it just fine. The ginger mayo is such a small part, the few extra steps it takes to make the mayo didn’t seem justifiable to me.