It has been a long time since I’ve added to our little disaster pile. Even so, it hasn’t prevented me from moaning about my duds or enduring nasty week long ruts. Certainly it can’t be true, the evidence is unfounded if I do not pin up the proof  here on these pages as a blathering confession of failure. If I don’t show you then it didn’t happen, right? If you ask my hard drive, however, it has a different story. There are currently over 320 demonstrations shoved under the title of “help me!”. Things like macadamia drop scones (Hawaii, a macadamia paradise, inspired these and of course they flopped themselves right to the trash, taking with them a morsel of my baking happiness), red lentil fritters (in actuality were more like little red hockey pucks, except hockey pucks have more flavor), lemon speculoos ice cream, and yes, even these fresh corn hush puppies.

Up until last week if you asked me what a hush puppy was I would have mumbled and stumbled through a vague definition of a fried seafood ball thing. My (thankfully) few childhood experiences at Long John Silver’s formed that view as I’m sure I got it mixed up with the miscellaneous other fried things on my seafood platter. Thankfully I was wrong as I found out last week during our fleeting beach trip. We went to an ocean front restaurant sitting upon stilts and priding itself on the spectacular sunset views to be had from its deck. It of course had the usual beachy smorgasbord of seafood offerings along with a few extras for the sea-averse. Before ordering my husband leaned over and asked the waitress what hush puppies were. “Like a doughnut” she said.

Like a doughnut. She was right. The little fried dough balls she brought us were similar to savory doughnut holes you could butter up and pop into your mouth before anyone could pass a judging eye. Small, fluffy, warm, and all of it bread. It was perhaps the one redeeming quality of our meal that night. It also, just so happened, that I found an email in my inbox the same week for beignet style hush puppies using fresh sweet corn and herbs.

It sounded wonderful — little beignets studded with corn kernels and packed with enough corn meal to bring out a true corn flavor with bits of parsley and scallions strewn throughout dressing up from a dreaded monotone one-note — it was something just a little different, something purely summery, something that was sure to win my heart. I quickly started them after arriving home and found, they are impossible. The dough is stiff and hard to stir, so much so that I’m positive my right arm muscle now has a 1/2-inch on my left, the corn kernels pop and explode after the little mounds they are tied up in were gently laid in hot oil, they brown so quickly the centers never completely cook, and when fried in 60-degree cooler oil to ensure complete cookage, they remain heavy, dense, and lacking everything that I hoped they would be. The worst part: my trash can has eaten more fresh corn than I have this week, and that above all makes me very sad.

I do believe these can be saved. It just needs some help — less flour or more liquid, some extra kicks to help out the lackluster flavor, etc. Give it a try if you wish, perhaps it’s just me, being grumpy that I no longer have sand to dig my toes into.

Fresh Corn Hush Puppies
A Tasting Table Mishap

Makes about 2 dozen

2 large ears of corn, kernels cut off and ear discarded (about 2 cups)
3/4 cup whole milk
2 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 1/2 cups bread flour
3 large eggs
2/3 cup cornmeal
1 tablespoon corn flour*
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
1 tablespoon kosher salt
1 medium scallion, finely chopped
1 1/2 tablespoons finely chopped parsley
3 cups vegetable oil
Confectioners’ sugar

*I had some on hand (from a tortilla disaster last year) but if you don’t have it, I personally would not buy some just for a tablespoon. The flour does not add nearly as much flavor as the corn or cornmeal.

In a medium saucepan set over medium-high heat, bring the corn kernels, whole milk and butter to a boil.

Whisk in the bread flour and, mixing constantly, add the eggs one at a time. Whisk in the cornmeal, corn flour, sugar and salt, then stir in the scallion and parsley. (Notes: it did not say to take it off the heat, so I lowered the heat and slowly began to whisk in ingredients. My whisk could not handle such heavy bulk and so I switched to a wooden spoon and eventually took it completely off the heat. It was extremely stiff and difficult to incorporate everything together.)

In a large saucepan set over medium-high heat, bring the oil to 360°. Use a tablespoon to measure out 1 tablespoon of the hush-puppies mixture; fry in batches, about 10 tablespoons at a time, until golden brown, 8 to 10 minutes. Use a frying spider or slotted spoon to transfer to a paper-towel-lined rack. (Notes: be careful, some of the corn kernels may pop and splatter oil on you. Also, I could only fit two, sometimes three at a time in my saucepan and they cooked much, much faster, like they were dark brown within 30 seconds. Once seeing they were not cooked all they way through I lowered the heat to 300, let them cook for 2 – 3 minutes until golden brown and still, they seemed to dense to actually cook through.)

Dust with confectioners’ sugar and serve immediately.