I was supposed to be telling you of our spur of the moment cruise, the last hurrah before we take care of a little munchkin that will steal our hearts and energy, the final vacation before vacation is just life in a different location. Instead I come back with a tale of vacation havoc — words that should never be used together unless your vacation turns out befuddled, agonizing and making you wish you were in pre-term labor rather than battling the ruthless. We were going to be walking deck planks, using the excuse of my oversized load to steal some pool-side lounge chairs (which I hear go really fast), have an actual room with a view over Central Park (even if it is a miniaturized version on a boat) and get some sun to aid in my “glow” as I need to squeeze myself into a bridesmaids dress in less than a month, sigh, yes I know.

Instead I must tell you that I have no idea what cruising life is like, but after this experience I don’t know if I can say I am a fan — which is what you all really want to know isn’t it? You probably are thinking I will bemoan the buffet food, or perhaps you are wondering how I managed to stay upright and not hurt myself or the baby while being six months pregnant with unsteady sea legs and an already pitiful lack of coordination and balance. But that’s the thing. We flew all the way down to Miami, took a taxi to Ft. Lauderdale and proceeded to check in at the desk when this kind woman came up and started making conversation. Ahem, or so I thought. Her kind enquires about my mid-section soon became a nightmare as you can apparently be “too pregnant” at six months. Six months! We are still three whole months away from squirting this little person out, but say you are anywhere past 24 weeks and you are banned like the plague from the boat. And so we were left on the dock as our last vacation as young, childless, free adults sailed away without us (and our complete awesomeness plus half).

But the story unfortunately does not take a turn for the better, yet, because after being rudely misguided by what I thought was a kind lady just trying to be friendly and not stare at this belly that is now making me waddle (yes, the husband informed me I now waddle, oh the horror, people!) we were then stranded in Miami for three more days. We tried to scramble around seeing if we could salvage anything of our trip — I mean the Bahamas are an hour away, the Keys are a jump, hop and a skip south but a hurricane soon ended any plans we might have made in staying a few more unstranded days and we flew back home stressed out and in heavy debate with the cruise line to refund us for rudely refusing us passage.

We were home for a total of seven hours, where we went through a 5.9 earthquake and a quick lunch, then hopped in the car and drove up to North Fork where we were almost killed on five separate occasions by crazy drivers. (Geez, I’m so happy right?) But folks, this is where the story gets good. After a long, grueling drive, we finally arrived at our destination and the wine drunken air mixed with salty ocean breezes melted the stress right off our bodies. We snuggled in to the North Fork Table and Inn where we were greeted with a rustic tray of iced water (ohmygah thank you) the cutest little privacy sign I have seen, fresh, crisp country linens, and a surrounding countryside filled with vivacious flowers.

Besides the insanely calming country views and the relaxing farmer’s stands, flower farms and sea gull caws, the end of our relaxing getaway was soon threatened by the same hurricane determined to ruin us in Miami. But not before we spent an entire day touring five different vineyards — at which I had to watch my husband and the rest of the gang sip on its delights as I begrudgingly gulped my water out of spite — however, the better half bought some bottles (just for me, errr, I hope) as we plan on celebrating in a few months when I can actually drink grapes that do not have a Welch’s label — went to a farm that supplied the freshest goat cheese that we gobbled up on sourdough, took 183 pictures of grapes on their vines, browsed 3 antique shops and divided the rest of our time between the Inn, the charming Coffey House B&B and beaches that were desolate of other life forms.

As for the food, there was no bemoaning, no complaining — not when we feasted on duck, locally grown produce, organic cheeses and three course breakfasts brimming with fruit, waffles and scrambled eggs. It made up for the horror of a weekend we had days before. And as with every other guest who has stayed at the inn, we followed suit and were charmed with their breakfast — one that every hotel establishment should follow — complete with freshly squeezed orange juice, house made granola, a hodge podge zucchini frittata, freshly picked fruit, delicious coffee and tea, goat’s milk yogurt, streusel topped muffins and most importantly, scones.

Apparently we were not the only ones whose association with dry, sandy, teething biscuit like bread balls were thrown out the window as each morning we were the first to grab a wedge of the softest, most moist, barely sweetened scone that preferred to let the seasonal fruit shine through the coarse sugar sprinkled tops. They are such a highly requested item, the Inn decided to share the recipe (I believe a Claudia Fleming recipe, swoon) on their site much to my giddy surprise. And I guess that is the closest I will get to Claudia as the inn had the audacity to sell out of her highly coveted cook book that I have been determined to find for less than the Amazon ticket price. But for now we will satisfy ourselves with six batches of scones as I was not about to leave North Fork without taking home some of their bounty.

[More vacation pictures of grapes, vineyards and the countryside following the recipe.]

One Year Ago: South Carolina Style Pulled Pork, another common dish we found throughout North Fork (though not at the Inn) — plenty of barbecue (minus the South Carolina twist). 

North Fork Table & Inn Scones
From The Table & Inn’s website

Makes 12 wedges

2 3/4 cup pastry flour (all-purpose is fine)
3/4 cup sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) butter, cut into 1/2 inch cubes
1 peach, skinned and chopped into pieces (about 1 cup)*
3/4 cup buttermilk*
Turbinado or sanding sugar for sprinkling, optional

Preheat oven to 375-degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and set aside.

Place cubed butter in the freezer for 15 minutes. Meanwhile, measure other ingredients (except buttermilk and fruit) and place in the bowl of a food processor.

Add butter to processor bowl and mix until the butter and flour are the texture of coarse cornmeal. Transfer to the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Add buttermilk and peaches and mix on lowest speed until the dough just comes together.

Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and knead very gently a couple of time. Roll dough out to approximately 1 inch. Cut squares and then again on the diagonal to create triangles. Sprinkle the tops with coarse sugar and bake for 25-30 minutes until lightly browned.

*Option — substitute peaches (or other fresh fruit) with 1 tablespoon caraway seeds and 1 cup golden raisins, increase buttermilk to 1 cup.